Another Mother
- Posted on May 14, 2025
One can always use Another Mother. There is no such thing as too many mothers in a room. Mothers have no ego. When gathered, they share appreciation for each other. Often, mother is tired, or doesn’t quite know what she is doing, and if there is Another Mother to step in, fill shoes, advise, the world benefits.
I had the benefit of three mothers. There is the gruff step mother Debbie, who is harsh, hard, critical, never happy or satisfied and continually exhibited frustration at my existence throughout my upbringing. But she knew how to cook and clean and care for a household. She set an example of how to focus attention on a task till completion and I still benefit from this today.
Then there is my birth mother Pam, very soft and full of love and acceptance. But her experience growing up included mothering limitations from her own mother Jean, my grandmother, which transferred down to me. Mothering did not flow instinctually for either in the typical ways of caregiving that many experience. However, Pam delved into her art and created drawings out of pencil and charcoal and inspired me with her creative magic. Mother welcomes and accepts everyone as they are, an atmosphere she gained from her own childhood, and all of us who share time and space with her benefit. Jean spread her own magic throughout her life, annually dressing up as the Easter Bunny, buying candy with her own money that was in short supply and creating an experience for neighbors and family.
I did not realize my grandmother, my father’s mother Anne, was a mother to me until she died. My parents and I lived with my grandparents, my father’s parents, when I was born until I was about three years old. After Anne’s passing, I began reflecting back and I realized that she did many of the things for me that I was doing for my own kids like bathing and reading and teaching and feeding. It was her that I was emulating as caregiver mother and I had not realized while she was alive, to thank her. So I thank her by paying it forward to my own children and now my own granddaughter. One of my daughters and granddaughter lived with me for the first couple years of my granddaughter’s life and I got to be Another mother.
One can always use Another Mother. There is no such thing as too many mothers in a room. Mothers have no ego. When gathered, they share appreciation for each other. Often, mother is tired, or doesn’t quite know what she is doing, and if there is Another Mother to step in, fill shoes, advise, the…